i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
