Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
