she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
