i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
