Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
