so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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