My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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