I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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