You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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