i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
