he shaved USA in his pubs
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have fence marks all over my body
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
