Kiss
Puke
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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