is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
