last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
foreskin is a definite game changer
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
