so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
