i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
