hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
actually, I'm a sock model
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
