I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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