she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
operation harelip BJ is a go
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
