im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
