if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
