Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
