Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
