he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
