Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
