So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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