You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
