You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
