Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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