sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
