What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
