HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
