So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize