I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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