I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
