wrigley field is MILF paradise
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
