I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
