I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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