Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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