Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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