Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
