so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
