It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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