If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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