loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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