i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
