i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's never too late to be topless.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
