I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
