when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
bring money and cleavage
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
