I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
