**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I will pee on everything he values.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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